12 Signs of Emotional Abuse.

Assessing the health of our relationships can be challenging, especially if we have experienced trauma, particularly when that trauma is linked to our intimate relationships. As social beings, humans depend on the connections we form to learn about ourselves and the world around us. When we fail to address the trauma or abuse that we have faced, we often find that the same patterns and themes repeat in our lives. This happens because our brains and nervous systems become conditioned to accept and expect these behaviors from others.

You might wonder why people don't recognize emotional abuse sooner. The reason is that emotional abuse involves subtle behaviors that shift gradually over time. As a result, many individuals often don't realize they are being emotionally abused until they have been in the relationship for a year or more.

What is considered emotional abuse?

Abusive behavior revolves around power and control. Instead of using force, emotional abusers manipulate others through various tactics to gain power and maintain control over time. Often, these abusers are unaware that their behavior is abusive. They may have adopted these beliefs and behaviors from their own past experiences or feel entitled to dominate their partner.

Fortunately, there are specific, objective behaviors that can indicate the presence of emotional abuse.

1. They say hurtful things to you or call you names.

2. They isolate you from your friends and family.

3. They get easily upset or angry with you.

4. They say you are too emotional or sensitive when you get upset.

5. They talk about you to others, which could change the way people see you.

6. They lie or don't tell the truth when something could reflect poorly on them.

7. They will criticize you or point out the flaws you need to improve, all while telling you they "put up with it" or "they are making a sacrifice by staying with you."

8. They push you into doing things you don't want to.

9. They threaten you or the relationship when things don't go their way or keep you from thinking about or doing something.

10. They often blame you or others for their problems.

11. They use jealousy or their love to justify their behaviors or keep you away from others.

12. They embarrass you in front of others or in private.

If you have experienced any of the following signs, you may be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship. Therapists who specialize in relationships can help you understand your experiences better and use reliable methods to evaluate your relationship if you are still unsure.

Remember, you are not alone, and there are support systems available if you are ready to reach out.

Until Next Time,

Courtney Gossel, MA, MFT, LCDCIII, Life Coach